Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
