HIV tests are more positive than that guy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
