even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize