If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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