If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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