Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
