I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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