i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
