I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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