I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize