Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize