I cockslap morals
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
