office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
