just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
