I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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