when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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