so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
