Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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