Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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