He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
