i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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