My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Who wears a wallet chain?!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
