My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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