well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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