Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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