Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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