You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
