Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
