Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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