He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
