My liver just broke up with me...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
