i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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