nut hugger
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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