as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
