i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
do nipples grow back?
Randomize