we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
