Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
