these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
