it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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