Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
