someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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