Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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