i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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