"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
