how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
