Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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