is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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