Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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