So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
