Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
