Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
