That's intense
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
