Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
