So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
