Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
