Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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