I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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