have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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