If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize