Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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