i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
