with your own penis?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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