I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
